Another Conversation With Food

Food: Hey.
Me: What's up.
Food: Where've you been? I was waiting up all night for you.
Me: Well - I'm here now, aren't I?
Food: I could do without the attitude.
Me: Sorry, look - I'm sorry. It's just... we've been seeing too much of each other.
Food: Still? This again? We don't see each other nearly as much as we used to! And we haven't been doing as much of that... naughty stuff, either!
Me: Yeah, but... it's been almost three months, and I'm stuck in practically the same place. I think we need to see even less of each other.
Food: Are you sere?
Me: Yeah - I'm sere. I want to see just enough of you to get by. Anything more seems... well... gluttonous.
Food: You're foul.
Me: Well, I'm sorry but it's the truth. You're a really bad influence on me. Every time you're around I'm like, oh hey, there's food, I might as well go hang out with her for a while.
Food: Why am I a 'she' all of a sudden?
Me: I don't know. Seems less gay.
Food: Oh, so you're homophobic?
Me: No, I just don't want people to get the wrong... look, we're getting off the subject. The point is, you need to take a lesser role in my life. I've... I've been seeing someone.
Food: (clenching teeth) Who?
Me: Writing.
Food: Really. And does writing... 'do it' for you?
Me: It does, actually. Sometimes, when I'm with her, I forget about you entirely.
Food: Now I feel like you're trying to hurt me.
Me: No, it's not like that. I want to stay on good terms with you, believe it or not. I still need you in my life. I just need you to be a little understanding when I say I need some 'me' time.
Food: You know what, fucker - you can have all the 'me' time you want.
Me: Please don't be vulgar.
Food: You're one to talk!
Me: Why don't you just... just get in the refrigerator, take some time to cool off.
Food: You're funny.
Me: Bye, food. I'll see you later.
Food: Later, psycho.

Starting weight: 222.4 lbs
Day 83 weight: 214.7 lbs
Total loss: 7.7 lbs