Falling Down

No, I'm not going on a sociopathic killing rampage. It's my pants! My pants are falling down! Hallelujah!

I've lost another pound and a half since my last post - just FOUR days ago, mind you - and I'm feeling good. Steadily approaching the big 200 milestone, at which point I will treat myself to something DELICIOUS as a reward. However, I will immediately afterward retire to the bathroom and vomit it up. Yay - I get to taste it twice! Relax, relax. I'll keep it down.

Anyway, have been keeping up with the healthy eating, and it hasn't even been all that hard. I think I finally got over "the hump." I was even pumped about getting a salad the other night. Granted, it had chunks of fried chicken in it, which is something I have been doing my best to avoid, but still. There were leaves in it and shit.

Have also kept up with the daily exercise, including tennis today in 90 degree weather (which on the adjusted native Chicagoan scale is around 104). I suffered two strokes, but sweated off some weightage, so it all balances out.

In other news, my music video parody "Never Gonna Pick You Up (Dick Rolled)" is featured on the Funny or Die homepage today! Check it out! www.funnyordie.com

I also may have an opportunity to audition for a commercial agent soon - a friend of mine (thanks again, Jeff!) hooked me up with his agent, who has already viewed a couple video clips and seems to be at least mildly interested! I mailed her my headshot and resume a couple days ago... we shall see what we shall see...

Have almost finished sending submissions for Gateway to Agartha to every literary agent listed in the Writer's Market. Have only heard back from about a quarter of them thus far, so there's still plenty of hope. Once that's done I'll submit directly to publishers, then if that fails I'll try to attend a writer's conference or two, then I'll try my hand at stalking, with my last resort being the kidnapping and holding for ransom of someone's children. I might make so much on the kidnapping that I won't even need an advance on the book!

Gonna work on writing some new stand-up material today. I have a couple topics in mind - going to extend my "kitten" routine, because why the hell not, and also going to write a bit about how passive-aggressive the Wii Fit is. Yeah, Wii Fit. Sorry, I missed a day. Why don't you RUB IT IN.

By the way, going to Olive Garden on Wednesday for Mary's birthday. You can be darn tootin' I'm going to be extra good this week, so I can let myself go a little while we're there. Three words for you: TOUR OF ITALY.

Starting weight: 222.4 lbs
Day 340 weight: 206.4 lbs
Total loss: 16.0 lbs