- The Cubs hadn't won a World Series since 1908.
- Osama bin Laden was still alive.
- I was single. Well, I had a fiancee, but whatevs.
- Occupy Wall Street wasn't a thing yet.
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were still together.
- Every awesome, amazing person on Earth wasn't dead (thanks, 2016).
- I didn't weigh roughly the same as an Amazonian manatee.
Sigh. Yeah, I took the fat-and-happy thing and ran with it (the only running I've done since 2011). Which is why I feel the need to start up this blog again. The first time around I lost over 20 pounds. Not nearly as much as I wanted to lose back then, and certainly not as much as I need to lose this time around, but I figure the accountability/constant self-shaming helped, so I'm gonna give it another shot.
I am currently the heaviest I've ever been. It sucks. I deserve better, my wife deserves better, our future children deserve better, and our cats deserve better. (I've been a terrible role model for Toby especially, who has been responsible for at least seven minor quakes in the Los Angeles area). And honestly, Amazonian manatees deserve better. They shouldn't have to shoulder the comparison.
As when I began this blog, I am working on discarding not only my literal lard, but the figurative lard from my life. While I enjoy playing poker, the home games I've hosted since 2008 have taken their toll. Each week, my schedule is thrown off, I don't get enough sleep, which makes it hard to keep up on work, which makes it hard to carve out time for the gym. Not to mention all the nasty treatses that litter the black card table in the garage every Tuesday, tempting me with their evil deliciousness. But the home games are over as of this week, and I'm vowing to get more regular sleep, stick to a firmer schedule, get to the gym 4-5 days a week, and stop sucking up food into my face like I'm a human Bissell attachment.
I am cutting out distractions. I've deleted all games from my phone, I'm not starting any new shows, and I'm going to start spending 20-30% less time shooting the shit with my co-workers (the cats again). I'm about two days away from completing the final draft on my novel, at which point I can get that sucker sold. And I have a couple projects up my sleeves which, while time-consuming, I feel will be important both in terms of productivity and self-gratification (the non-masturbation kind). So good things are on the horizon.
There are so many things in my life that have fallen into place, or are getting there. What frustrates me is that I'm close to having a nearly perfect life - or as close to one as a person might reasonably hope - but most of the trouble areas that are keeping me from getting there are totally within my control. I just need to buckle down, focus, and continually remind myself of all the good that's well within reach. The problem is that all of that good stuff is on the same shelf as the Cheetos.
Okay, so here we go. I want to lose 50 pounds. I would LOVE to lose 60, but let's just see how I look and feel after I've lost 50. I don't feel like posting my actual weight, so we'll call it "x".
Here we go.
Starting weight: x lbs
Day 0 weight: x lbs
Total loss: 0 lbs
Todd this had me literally laughing out loud, which apparently disturbed my kids from watching their show. Rude of me. I feel your pain and have been on a mission to get fit as well. Right now I'm focusing more on transformation (and a reduction in body fat %) more than losing pounds but that should be a nice byproduct to accompany goal #1. I'm delighted to take this journey with you!
ReplyDeleteHa - thanks for reading, and glad you enjoyed the post! Yeah, I know I shouldn't obsess so much over the number on the scale. It's just that numbers fit so nicely into spreadsheets, which I'm also obsessed with.
ReplyDeleteOkay, we're gonna do this thing. Go us!
I am absolutely with you, but PLEASE..less self-loathing. You are an incredibly gifted writer and I appreciate your sense of humor as you well know, but hey, I'm the one who brought you into this world, and I'm pretty proud of that accomplishment, so stop insulting my masterpiece! Let's just look at this as getting strong and healthy while we take off the flab, since that's what matters most. I know you like numbers, but those pesky pound numbers have never been my friend, so I am going to be looking at different numbers for my best guideline of how I'm doing: the numbers on the tape measure around my waistline, my blood pressure and cholesterol numbers, and the number on the pants that I am buying! Let's do this. I challenge both of us to be feeling better about some (or all) of these numbers when I see you in 5 weeks, k? In addition, I also have lots of other 'lard' to discard in my life, so negativity, procrastination and self-control, be gone! This is my fight song! Take back my life song!! ( Sorry, it was blasting in my ears while they were yanking my tooth out yesterday, so I feel inspired and motivated!)
ReplyDeleteAw, man, how do I edit that? It was supposed to say self-doubt not self-control be gone!! 😒
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely with you, but PLEASE..less self-loathing. You are an incredibly gifted writer and I appreciate your sense of humor as you well know, but hey, I'm the one who brought you into this world, and I'm pretty proud of that accomplishment, so stop insulting my masterpiece! Let's just look at this as getting strong and healthy while we take off the flab, since that's what matters most. I know you like numbers, but those pesky pound numbers have never been my friend, so I am going to be looking at different numbers for my best guideline of how I'm doing: the numbers on the tape measure around my waistline, my blood pressure and cholesterol numbers, and the number on the pants that I am buying! Let's do this. I challenge both of us to be feeling better about some (or all) of these numbers when I see you in 5 weeks, k? In addition, I also have lots of other 'lard' to discard in my life, so negativity, procrastination and self-control, be gone! This is my fight song! Take back my life song!! ( Sorry, it was blasting in my ears while they were yanking my tooth out yesterday, so I feel inspired and motivated!)
ReplyDelete